Conservative LLC: All Noise, No Signal | Promethean Fire


There’s a certain brand of conservative who makes incessant whinging about cultural rollback their entire value proposition. They write Telegraph columns with more question marks than full stops. They go on Talk Radio or GB News to whine about the ever growing threats of childless academics and power-hungry human resources executives. If they’re lucky, they get invited to garden parties and Oxford Union debates and outings at the Carlton Club. They relish the idea of clashing with idiotic left-wing postgrads on Twitter, and bolstering their own images as paragons of “common sense.”

They constrain themselves from real critiques, the actual critiques, the ones that matter. They’re not interested in changing anything; they’re more preoccupied with making sure you’ve seen them disapprove of whatever’s going on. Even so, this batch of commentators are just as bound by the Overton window as any leftist. They are Regime Conservatives, paid to point at the effervescent concoctions of the media, all the while distracting you from the true issues at hand. In doing so, they consistently obscure the underlying signal in favour of the noise. 

Here’s an example. About a week or so ago the Scottish Government tweeted the following: 

“Over 55,000 pregnant people in England & Scotland have had the #coronavirus vaccine. It’s the best way to protect you and your baby from the risks of the virus during pregnancy.” 

Here we have a public authority telling pregnant women to take an mRNA vaccine which has not yet passed FDA Phase 3 clinical trials, and is only being administered to UK citizens because the government has given it emergency authorisation. Unlike other vaccines, it is not a collection of dead coronavirus cells which are placed into a localised area of the body. It is a new form of treatment that attempts to trick the entire immune system into producing the right response artificially. 

I stress the word “new.” I’m not trying to prohibit anyone from taking risks with their own body, but there are certain demographics who should probably be advised extra caution. The scientific establishment is not infallible, and has been wrong in the past, especially with pregnancies in the case of thalidomide. We want healthy mothers and healthy babies, both of which are much better off taking their chances with a virus that barely edges out the flu in terms of fatality. Throwing caution to the wind and spurring on vaccines for expecting mothers is frankly irresponsible if not disturbing, especially because of the legal immunities handed out to Pharma.

With all this in mind, any sane conservative would have attacked the tweet for its underlying substance; the cavalier attitude with which the Scottish Government was treating its next generation. And many did, I assume. But there were countless others who criticised the tweet on a point of convention, and spoke no further on the actual policy prescription. I refer of course to the term “pregnant people.” Regime Conservatives rejoiced upon seeing that turn of phrase because they could once more demonstrate how much common sense they had, within limits. 

Julia Hartley Brewer, Colin Brazier, Alex Phillips, Rita Panahi, Alex Deane, even Rod Dreher all leapt onto stage and played their part. They knew they wouldn’t dare critique the underlying policy, but they sure tried their damndest to throw a grain of sand in the Scottish Government’s eye to keep themselves satisfied. 

It’s not just vaccine policy that Conservative LLC seems to capitulate to. Ed West, the author of “Small Men on the Wrong Side of History,” is more than happy to drop buzzwords about metropolitan elites and left behind communities, but regularly engages in the same climate flagellation that Saint Greta of Stockholm would be proud of. Douglas Murray, author of “The Madness of Crowds,” took his sweet time deciding whether mass hysteria and fear justified the stripping of our rights and the suspension of transparent democracy. Sure, he’s on the sceptical bandwagon now, but he’s taken a lot longer to assert a position on our basic liberties than about whether a company can pull advertising from GB News. 

A lot of people talk a good game about “the culture wars,” but these wars seem to be fought within certain boundaries. The difference in attention that Conservative LLC gives to topics is striking. Statues are fair game. Curricula are fair game. Gender is fair game. Even immigration is fair game. But we never hear about interest rates, or impending climate decrees, or small business being eaten up every day by corporate entities who could simply shrug off lockdown. Asking these sorts of questions is what really strikes fear into the people conservatives despise. Annoyed grunting about Cecil Rhodes simply doesn’t, as passionate as you may be about history.

Each of us has to learn to see through the manufactured headlines of the day, and turn our eyes away from the clout-chasing commentators who are content to act in the central planners’ phony wars. Disregard their pointless whining. Try to find out what they’re not saying.


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