How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love BLM | Mario Laghos


Locked away for NYE, our increasingly irrelevant televisions were afforded life anew, taking centre stage to command the nation’s attention in a way unseen for years. At 11 o’clock, just an hour before the famed midnight lightshow, the UK ended its transitional arrangements with the EU, and left proper. I expected that this historic moment might be reflected in our annual celebration, on the state broadcasting channel. Perhaps a tasteful Union Flag could explode into the night sky, or a drone formation of Liz Truss sprinting through a ribbon while draped in the flag of Japan could have been beamed into the heavens. What we actually got was only slightly more surreal: EU coloured fireworks, Black Power salutes, a turtle brandishing Africa on its shell and a tribute to the one true (and new) God, who apparently goes by the name ‘Nhs’. 2021 began with a doubling down on the new normal and social injustice, another bold move by the same beleaguered poker player who holds no cards but always seems to win. Oh well, Sadiq Khan is sure to win again as mayor of London, so why get triggered just for the Mail Online’s ad revenue sake? Learn to love it!

In a similar vein, some people got wound up by the fact that football games introduced the ‘taking the knee’ ritual prior to kick-off. Jake Hepple flew a ‘white lives banner’ over a Burnley game and was made redundant for his troubles, along with his girlfriend. Millwall fans booed at the first opportunity, and were rightly branded as irredeemable as a consequence. All made the mistake of not knowing BLM exists outside of democracy, as much as God lives outside of time. There can be no other explainer for the fact that anti-lockdown protesters, nutty as some may be, are bludgeoned fiercely by riot armour clad Met officers, while BLM protestors are left carte blanche to organise in huge numbers, desecrate monuments and attack the police without reprisal. Let’s not lose sight of the fact that every major corporation supports BLM; $95 Trillion in stock value can’t be wrong. I even heard 9/10 doctors who recommend Camel cigarettes support the astonishingly good idea that coronavirus does not spread at BLM protests, and its from here their exemptions to the law arise. It’s science.

‘“Risking coronavirus pales in comparison to all the other ways we can die,” says Dr. Dorothy Charles, a family medicine resident at the University of Illinois College of Medicine and an organizer at the racial-justice group White Coats for Black Lives. “Addressing the root causes [of racial inequality] is more imperative at this point than staying at home.”

Dr Dorothy Charles, speaking to Time Magazine

Obesity is healthy. Racism is progressive. Kneeling is standing up. War is peace. Coronavirus disproportionately kills BAME people, but BAME people should gather in large numbers in the midst of a pandemic. The experts said so. But why let these nuggets, nay – rich mineral veins of wisdom, be consigned to the mass media, the political zeitgeist, sporting, film and television, music, literature, and Twitter, when there is so much more room in society for it to grace us? There have been tentative steps to reshape education for example, with parents across the Anglosphere enjoying drag queen story hour, in which your child can be read to by a drag queen, or even instructed in how to twerk, and by a convicted paedophile no less. Who among us could say the New Normal does not have its roots in tradition when they harken back to the tutelage of Aristotle so boldly? The BBC has produced videos for schoolchildren to let them know that there are 100 genders, and we get to pay for it on pain of imprisonment.

Channel 4 got in on the fun over the festive season too, mocking the Queen’s speech with a deep fake, in which she appeared to imply that NHS workers who treated the PM during his fight with Covid were doing so at the risk of becoming impregnated by Boris. It’s not clear whether a lack of consent is involved in the insemination, but why bother with the details? Just imagine yourself to be patient-X for a new age Ludivico technique, and that by sitting through all this with your eyes wide open you’ll earn an early release. If you can’t take it there’s some Dr Who episode to turn to, in which some militantly nationalist alien race needs to be talked down by Jodie Whitaker into realising they have more in common with their ancient enemies than they knew, and that all conflict is based on some kind of misunderstanding rather than transcendental struggle or some other nonsense. Unless it’s the Daleks, who are basically Millwall fans. I apologise to the Daleks for that comment.


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