The New Philistines | Samuel Martin

It’s been a hectic month, hasn’t it? The Prime Minister resigns, a new Prime Minister enters office, meets the Queen, and a few days later the Queen dies, instigating a period of national mourning and the reign of a new monarch.

Part of this month’s hectic nature can be attributed to the explosion of mockery that has engulfed social media. Energised by Her Majesty’s death, various scum has exited the woodwork to make their hatred of monarchy (and, by extension, the British people) well-known – Irish nationalists, republicans, communists, socialists, so-called “high status” libtards, third-world riffraff, “anti-colonial” grifters, and so on. No amount of “modernisation” and “decolonisation” will suffice for these people – their hatred is a perpetual and existential threat to us.

That said, the time many have spent being appalled at the malice of these “people” (I mean, really, what did you expect?) has detracted, at least partially, from another dimension of the leftist identity: philistinism.

The contemporary understanding of “philistine” – a person with a materialistic and anti-intellectual worldview that is hostile to art, beauty, spirituality, and intellect – comes from poet Matthew Arnold’s adaptation of the German “Philister” – a word used to denote someone who was not trained at university. Ironic, given that universities have long ceased to dissuade against such a reductive and resentful mindset.

In the view of leftist philistines, we can’t have a lavish funeral for the *checks notes* longest-serving British monarch and second-longest serving monarch in history, because it would cost money.

Why have a funeral befitting a much-beloved head of state(s), when we could just dump her body into a cardboard box, drop it in the Thames, and spend the money on ARE EN-ACH-ESS?

It’s not difficult to imagine some obese geriatric socialist, angrily wriggling around in their distressed armchair as the man on the tellybox announces that money will not be spent on Polish nurses to gouge excrement from their backside.

This article was published in Regime Change. To continue reading, buy a copy here.

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