Tour de Covid de Espana – Notes from Spain | Edward Anderson


In a world without tourists, one man is on a five week tour across Spain. Homeless Ed brings you an entry from his holiday/looking for work Journal. It isn’t going well…

Day 10 – August 8th  8:15am -Palacio de la Aljafería

Up yours Zaragoza. I get up at 6:15 to walk to the bus station. I check the boards and no sign of the bus advertised on the website for 8:00am, this doesn’t look good.

And sure enough, just like everything else in the accursed city, the women confirms that the bus isn’t running. When I ask why the bus is still advertised, she shrugs and I want to launch my size ten metal plated boots into the face of everyone in this city.

The reason, the only reason, I have come to this sweatbox was to go to Belchite and it’s impossible. I even asked the Belchite tourist board ahead of time if the attraction was still open and was told yes, Aragon was still open.

This is a good time (name redacted), the lady on the email, to tell me that there are now no buses on weekends. Hold on, why would she know if buses from other companies are running Ed? Because it’s her job, you tw*t. If you are working at a tourist attraction in the middle of a desert it may (it absolutely is) be a good idea to know whether people can reach your attraction so if, say, someone emails you then you can tell them about the bus timetable (or lack thereof).

(Name redacted) was only unintentionally unhelpful, the rest of the people here have been (the word in Ed’s journal is not acceptable for publication and has been removed). If this is how absolutely contemptuous of people who are giving them money and trying to promote the region in a global pandemic (where, by the way, Aragon is one of the worst affected regions in the second waves in Spain) how little of a toss did they give in normal times?

Perhaps in the future they will drop all pretence and just spit in my face next year. “Testing the vaccine” is how it will be known. I even get spun around walking back and sure enough was pointed in the wrong direction (my Spanish isn’t great but there is only left and right, I asked for the city centre, this women was pushing me into the desert, no doubt part of the city’s wider conspiracy against me).

Currently, I’m stewing in my own juices outside the admittedly striking Palacio de la Aljaferia (built as a Moorish Palace in the 11th century when Zaragoza was part of Al-Andalus) but not even the two fluffy white dogs joyfully playing in the park can improve my mood. What great people the Moors were… Screw it.

I hope they take Zaragoza back, a re – reconquista. I hope the vaccine works on people from everywhere but here. Worst of all, I hope Zaragoza are stuck in Segunda forever, whilst smaller teams are consistently promoted above them. And when someone asks me for directions… I won’t help.

Why did Tolkien name his great hero after these people?* €22 train, €32 hostels, €9 euro taxi… All wasted. Good luck Elche, up yours Zaragoza.

*Edward would like to point out that since leaving Zaragoza for Teruel he has seen that not all people from Aragon are evil, just those in Zaragoza. He would like to apologise for unfairly associating the people of Teruel with Zaragoza.


Photo Credit.

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